Isolation

Having different ideas of god and religion than the mainstream or at least the mainstream of my current peer group is very lonely and isolating. Not only do I have these different perspectives on things but I haven't told my family and friends, for the most part. They know that we aren't going to church and don't really have an intention to return but they don't know that we've questioned the very fabric of our belief in god. I would like to tell them but I want to fully define what I do and don't believe so that I can face their questions. I wish we had some friends that were in the same boat and also questioned it all and don't take everything for face value. It's all too much to carry alone. I'm so thankful that my husband and I are on the same page with all this. It is remarkable. Just two and a half years ago we were going to move to Kansas City so that Chad could attend a Southern Baptist Seminary and become a minister or theologian. Now we both are leaning agnostic. This really could've done a number on our relationship if we hadn't changed together. It's hard enough on us as it is since we are so isolated together and are each other's only outlet. I just hate this isolation so much. It's not that I wish we mindlessly still followed Christianity because that was miserable too but I wish we had someone to share this all with. That we could be open about our belief and cynicism.

The path here. . .

This entire blog is dedicated to my quest to discovering my true religious, doctrinal, and eternal beliefs. Much of these writings will be contradictory to what I was brought up to believe and what many of you also believe. I have not invited you all here to try and convince me of the Way but to share with you my own struggles with Christianity in general and religion in its entirety. I know that I am not the first one to ever struggle with these issues and I am certain that I will not be the last. I also believe that the unexamined life is not worth living and I refuse to accept anything based on the premise that it was what I was taught. I do not trust anyone that believes themselves to have life all figured out. If a person believes that they have all the answers they just prove themselves to be following a certain path mindlessly. I have no intention to follow God mindlessly or take for granted that Christianity is most certainly the path to the real God. How very egotistical must we be to assume that we necessarily chose correctly out of the plethora of religions. I also do not believe that God desires us to have an entirely blind faith. I believe that God does not require or desire us to simply follow 'dictates' mindlessly. I believe he would have us seek him and not just through the Bible. He would have us question our beliefs and the things we have been taught.