So. . . Christmas was a flop. Chad's sickishness turned out to be an actual thing and by Christmas morning, I was feeling terrible, too. We didn't get to go to Crescent and are hoping to make it this coming week. Jude started sneezing this morning and Lennon was coughing in the night and has had a runny nose off and on since Christmas. I think it's time to get out the humidifier and hope that we can nip this in the bud. I really, really want to go to Crescent this weekend! We've got big plans to reveal the gender of Meap to the family (and you guys will have to wait, too).
Thankfully, our little Christmas celebration at home was nice and the boys haven't even torn up the playroom because they have been so busy playing with the new toys in their room. I think they both are really happy with what they got!
Not much more to say other than one of these days I'm going to have really deal with these feelings I've been work VERY hard to repress about my mom. There were numerous times that I started to think about it and would be on the verge of tears and would just basically change the subject in my mind or otherwise so I wouldn't cry. I'm known for this. I don't know if this is what denial is and is an acceptable stage of grief or if I'm just setting myself up to be a crazy person forever. I was horribly grumpy on Christmas eve as a way to cope, too. I just don't want to cry. I guess because I know it won't fix anything. Tears are forming so I'm going to cut this short because as I've already shared, it's what I do.
27 December 2011
24 December 2011
Bah Humbug
We got our tree up and all of the gifts are bought and have arrived (I shopped almost exclusively on the internet this year). Still nothing has been wrapped and it's Christmas eve. Chad is sickish. I add the -ish because he has yet to run a fever but has had drainage and a cough nearly all week. The drainage has given him a sore throat and he sounds really ill. In fact, he's sleeping now. I don't even know if he should come with us to Crescent tomorrow since we don't know what he has and I certainly don't want anyone else to come down with it either. I have a good sized list of things I need to be doing today. I need to actually wrap the presents, make some toffee bars that will be going with us to Crescent (if Meap and I don't eat them all-- oh I guess I can make two batches!), sort through toys in the playroom and get it picked up so we can add more to the chaos, tons of laundry to wash and put away, and try my hand at Raisin Cream Pie again.
The Raisin Cream Pie is for my Great Uncle Dean. He turned 91 on the 17th. He is in an assisted living/nursing home in Guthrie and we went to visit him for their Christmas party on the 22nd since we couldn't make it on the 17th. My mom would always make him a Raisin Cream Pie for his birthday and I worked on one the 22nd before we left but it turned out terrible. Since we will be in Crescent tomorrow I thought we might head over there with my redo. I have been intimidated to go alone over there because the last time we went (when my mom passed away) he seemed more confused and harder to communicate with. I feel safer going when my Uncle goes because he knows him better and of all the people Uncle Dean would remember, it is certainly my Uncle Steve. When we were there on Thursday, though, Uncle Dean looked the best I've seen him in the last several times I've been. I used to go up there with my mom on occasion and even then he was having trouble. He just looked really good Thursday and though he, of course, has trouble getting around he seemed just as healthy and with it as he was when he'd come to family get-togethers at the farm, 10 years ago. Uncle Dean is my Grandpa Emil's (Mom's dad) only living sibling and one of the few living relatives on the Mackey side of the family that I have more than an acquaintance relationship with. I was very close to my grandpa and he reminds me of him so much and I'm so thankful that he is still around.
Well, as I'm sure everyone that has ever read here has noticed, I chase a lot of rabbits. Most of my writing style is incredibly disorganized and I never stay on topic. Eh, sorry.
So back to the reason behind this post. I have a lot to do and no desire to do it. The only thing I'm looking forward to tomorrow is going to Crescent. I don't know if I have cabin fever or what but my house is stressing me out right now. I'm ready for Christmas to be over so that the house can return to normalcy. That is going to take a fair amount of work considering I know what we got the kids for Christmas and know where it will have to go. I also know that since I'm already past my half-way point to April we need to get the playroom cleaned out and transitioned into a nursery again. I feel conflicted about the amount of things the kids got for Christmas, too. I want them to have certain things and that's why I bought them but I hate that Christmas is so materialistic. It has really not settled well with me since I realized the other day what the whole Santa/coal thing is really about. It has nothing to do with being naughty or nice but everything to do with being rich or poor. Rich=nice and poor=naughty since coal was used for home heating back in the day and the poor kids would only get such a strict necessity. We don't do Santa for our kids and now I'm thankful but I see that we also contribute to the same mentality by trying to get them so much for Christmas when we can. Granted, a lot of what we got Jude was coal (clothes, shoes, socks, etc.) but we splurged for a few other things too. I mean now that I'm thinking back on everything we got, most of the things we got were little things, just things that I knew they would really like. I still feel like that it's too much, though. Being a parent is hard and navigating Christmas sucks. I'm ready for it to be over.
The Raisin Cream Pie is for my Great Uncle Dean. He turned 91 on the 17th. He is in an assisted living/nursing home in Guthrie and we went to visit him for their Christmas party on the 22nd since we couldn't make it on the 17th. My mom would always make him a Raisin Cream Pie for his birthday and I worked on one the 22nd before we left but it turned out terrible. Since we will be in Crescent tomorrow I thought we might head over there with my redo. I have been intimidated to go alone over there because the last time we went (when my mom passed away) he seemed more confused and harder to communicate with. I feel safer going when my Uncle goes because he knows him better and of all the people Uncle Dean would remember, it is certainly my Uncle Steve. When we were there on Thursday, though, Uncle Dean looked the best I've seen him in the last several times I've been. I used to go up there with my mom on occasion and even then he was having trouble. He just looked really good Thursday and though he, of course, has trouble getting around he seemed just as healthy and with it as he was when he'd come to family get-togethers at the farm, 10 years ago. Uncle Dean is my Grandpa Emil's (Mom's dad) only living sibling and one of the few living relatives on the Mackey side of the family that I have more than an acquaintance relationship with. I was very close to my grandpa and he reminds me of him so much and I'm so thankful that he is still around.
Well, as I'm sure everyone that has ever read here has noticed, I chase a lot of rabbits. Most of my writing style is incredibly disorganized and I never stay on topic. Eh, sorry.
So back to the reason behind this post. I have a lot to do and no desire to do it. The only thing I'm looking forward to tomorrow is going to Crescent. I don't know if I have cabin fever or what but my house is stressing me out right now. I'm ready for Christmas to be over so that the house can return to normalcy. That is going to take a fair amount of work considering I know what we got the kids for Christmas and know where it will have to go. I also know that since I'm already past my half-way point to April we need to get the playroom cleaned out and transitioned into a nursery again. I feel conflicted about the amount of things the kids got for Christmas, too. I want them to have certain things and that's why I bought them but I hate that Christmas is so materialistic. It has really not settled well with me since I realized the other day what the whole Santa/coal thing is really about. It has nothing to do with being naughty or nice but everything to do with being rich or poor. Rich=nice and poor=naughty since coal was used for home heating back in the day and the poor kids would only get such a strict necessity. We don't do Santa for our kids and now I'm thankful but I see that we also contribute to the same mentality by trying to get them so much for Christmas when we can. Granted, a lot of what we got Jude was coal (clothes, shoes, socks, etc.) but we splurged for a few other things too. I mean now that I'm thinking back on everything we got, most of the things we got were little things, just things that I knew they would really like. I still feel like that it's too much, though. Being a parent is hard and navigating Christmas sucks. I'm ready for it to be over.
16 December 2011
Cleaning. . .
Today I'm cleaning. That may not seem like a big deal to some since they do it weekly but this last semester I haven't really been doing my fair share. Of course the kid's bathroom and the common area was clean (not dusted regularly!) but there has been way too much that has been put on the back burner. The worst area of all was the master bath. Other than the toilet, I don't think that bathroom got cleaned once since probably August. Icky. I'm working on catching up on the actual cleaning right now and then over the break from school, Chad and I are going to work on the clutter that has also taken residence in our home. I'm ready for our house to feel comfortable and not so icky again.
Yesterday was my last day of class and I have decided I won't be going back in the spring, though I may have been successful in taking short term classes. I just have neglected too much in this last year and I don't want to have any excuse not to enjoy this pregnancy, my kids, and my husband. When I do return to school (yet to be determined), I will only go part-time.
Because of the crazy semester that both Chad and I have had, we haven't even put up our christmas tree yet and that is another reason why I'm working to get this house in shape. Tonight we are going to let the kids stay up and we are going to get some yuletide spirit flowing in this house. I haven't had even a shred of christmas spirit, though in the last few days I started listening to the radio station that is just playing christmas music. The first time I heard christmas music this year I was at Wal-Mart (in November, sigh) and I'll be Home for Christmas came on and I started crying right there in the store. I mean being pregnant and losing Mom in April, it's really no surprise. I know that has been the root of why I'm not really into christmas this year. It has been very, very hard with lots of tears shed. I am looking forward to christmas with family, though. We managed to get the kids some pretty awesome stuff that I know they will like (I'm very lucky, my kids like receiving shoes and even socks for christmas) and I can't wait to see their faces on christmas morning. If you promise not to tell them I'll share their biggest gifts. Lennon got at train/lego table and Jude got a new, bigger bike. Of course, both will benefit both boys but I know they will like them. I got both things very discounted with some savvy online shopping on Black Friday (I found some even better sales than they had on Cyber Monday). I also got a good deal on a highchair for Meap.
Well as usual, I have strayed from the original purpose of this post and I've got to get back to cleaning. Be on the lookout for some pictures of the decorated house, christmas photos, and a special post about Meap. The last one will have to wait until after christmas but we have something special to share. Hopefully it will beginning to look at lot like christmas around here soon. . .
Yesterday was my last day of class and I have decided I won't be going back in the spring, though I may have been successful in taking short term classes. I just have neglected too much in this last year and I don't want to have any excuse not to enjoy this pregnancy, my kids, and my husband. When I do return to school (yet to be determined), I will only go part-time.
Because of the crazy semester that both Chad and I have had, we haven't even put up our christmas tree yet and that is another reason why I'm working to get this house in shape. Tonight we are going to let the kids stay up and we are going to get some yuletide spirit flowing in this house. I haven't had even a shred of christmas spirit, though in the last few days I started listening to the radio station that is just playing christmas music. The first time I heard christmas music this year I was at Wal-Mart (in November, sigh) and I'll be Home for Christmas came on and I started crying right there in the store. I mean being pregnant and losing Mom in April, it's really no surprise. I know that has been the root of why I'm not really into christmas this year. It has been very, very hard with lots of tears shed. I am looking forward to christmas with family, though. We managed to get the kids some pretty awesome stuff that I know they will like (I'm very lucky, my kids like receiving shoes and even socks for christmas) and I can't wait to see their faces on christmas morning. If you promise not to tell them I'll share their biggest gifts. Lennon got at train/lego table and Jude got a new, bigger bike. Of course, both will benefit both boys but I know they will like them. I got both things very discounted with some savvy online shopping on Black Friday (I found some even better sales than they had on Cyber Monday). I also got a good deal on a highchair for Meap.
Well as usual, I have strayed from the original purpose of this post and I've got to get back to cleaning. Be on the lookout for some pictures of the decorated house, christmas photos, and a special post about Meap. The last one will have to wait until after christmas but we have something special to share. Hopefully it will beginning to look at lot like christmas around here soon. . .
07 December 2011
Comments
Hey guys, I've heard from a couple of you that you tried to post a comment to the blog but had difficulty. For some reason they aren't posting. I looked in my comments section and even the spam but nothing is there waiting to be approved or anything. On previous entries I've had comments go through but this time around, since I changed my template, things are kind of wonky. :( If anyone has any suggestions on how I can maybe track down those comments or make it where you comment on future posts, email me at leteworsham@yahoo.com or I guess you can attempt to comment on this post but I somehow doubt it will work. I appreciate any help you can give. I'm more than a little blog challenged. I'm really sorry for the inconvenience and I hope to figure it out so I don't miss any more of your comments!
ETA: I successfully posted a "test comment" on this post so you might see if you can also. Crossing fingers!
ETA: I successfully posted a "test comment" on this post so you might see if you can also. Crossing fingers!
05 December 2011
Making his/her internet debut. . .
I would like to take a moment to introduce you to the newest addition to our crazy family.
This is Meap (alternately known as Little Murray Sparkles). Please ignore my horrible attempt to edit my name and patient info out-- I'm no professional at it.
In this first one, Meap's hand is up in front of the face in a thumb sucking position. . . maybe (s)he has already picked up big brother's habit.
Here Meap's arm is up by his/her face. The face is turned toward us and it really looks like (s)he is waving at us.
This one is another profile photo and it looks like his/her hand is resting on top of his/her head and you can see four little fingers! Also, what a cute little nose!
Chad is the only one that knows the gender but I'm convinced that it is another boy. I guess we shall see in April when this little munchkin will be joining us. We had an excellent ultrasound today and all looked well. He/she has been very active this afternoon while I was scanning the photos as well as this morning when they were trying to get a good look during the ultrasound. Little one already weighs 13 oz. and had a heart rate of 149. (Though it's all based on an old wives tale and is just for fun, babybpm.com says that with the gestational age and heart rate that it's a boy, too, hehe). We are just over half way there and we are over the moon. After our previous losses, it was hard to be certain we'd make it this far and we have been on pins and needles the entire time. I don't think this will ever be an entirely laid back pregnancy (though I'm lucky and have never experienced complications after the first trimester) but we are starting to relax a little.
We haven't settled on any names yet but have quite an extensive list to choose from. However, that list is primarily divided between ones he likes and ones that I like.
I guess that is all for now. . .Check back here occasionally for updates on little Meap.
This is Meap (alternately known as Little Murray Sparkles). Please ignore my horrible attempt to edit my name and patient info out-- I'm no professional at it.
In this first one, Meap's hand is up in front of the face in a thumb sucking position. . . maybe (s)he has already picked up big brother's habit.
Here Meap's arm is up by his/her face. The face is turned toward us and it really looks like (s)he is waving at us.
This one is another profile photo and it looks like his/her hand is resting on top of his/her head and you can see four little fingers! Also, what a cute little nose!
Chad is the only one that knows the gender but I'm convinced that it is another boy. I guess we shall see in April when this little munchkin will be joining us. We had an excellent ultrasound today and all looked well. He/she has been very active this afternoon while I was scanning the photos as well as this morning when they were trying to get a good look during the ultrasound. Little one already weighs 13 oz. and had a heart rate of 149. (Though it's all based on an old wives tale and is just for fun, babybpm.com says that with the gestational age and heart rate that it's a boy, too, hehe). We are just over half way there and we are over the moon. After our previous losses, it was hard to be certain we'd make it this far and we have been on pins and needles the entire time. I don't think this will ever be an entirely laid back pregnancy (though I'm lucky and have never experienced complications after the first trimester) but we are starting to relax a little.
We haven't settled on any names yet but have quite an extensive list to choose from. However, that list is primarily divided between ones he likes and ones that I like.
I guess that is all for now. . .Check back here occasionally for updates on little Meap.
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