Regrets. . . I've had a few

This isn't really a post about religion but I would still like to share. . .

I have my share of regrets, that is certain.  I've made a fool of myself in more ways than I can count.  I make a fool of myself daily in real life but I'm also adept at using snail mail, e-mail, FB, this blog, and even the phone to do so.

My biggest regret to date is how I handled a phone call I received when I was in eighth or ninth grade.

Before moving back to Arkansas between my 7th and 8th grade years I lived in Texas.  Just like everywhere I have lived, I had a group of a few girls that I hung out with and had over and the like.  One of my friends was a girl named Heather.  She was one of the more funky girls in our group.  I always tended toward the offbeat groups and to say we were quirky would be putting it mildly.  I had an (awesome!) neon green and silver purse that looked like an old-school suitcase.  60s retro was big then and we all wore peace signs and smiley face jewelry.  Heather really had the most personality of us all.  She was more goth than the rest of us and way more mellow yet confident.  The group was loosely formed around her.  Her style was independent of us.  As far as the school went she wasn't most popular, obviously none of us were, but everybody knew her and most liked her.

After moving back to Arkansas, I received a phone call from her one evening.  Honestly, I have no idea how she found me.  My parents worked at the children's home and she called me at the cottage which was unlisted and even if it had been listed she couldn't have looked under our family name to find it.  Maybe I was better at letter writing then and had written her with it.  I seem to remember being surprised that she'd found me, though, at the time.  Regardless, she called and we talked.  She told me of her boyfriends and school and other normal teenage girl stuff.  At some point during the call she shared some big news. . .

Much bigger news than I'd ever heard before in my junior high life. . .

She told me she was bisexual.  Awkward silence ensued.  I had no idea how to respond.  I think my first thought was, 'Why is she telling me this?'  I hadn't even had a boyfriend yet and she's telling me she likes guys and girls!  I was blown away.  I had no idea what to say after that.  I don't really know how I got from being blown away to church-y but I did.  Somehow I worked in something along the lines of that she really shouldn't like girls and that it wasn't God's will and all that stuff.  I cannot imagine the hurt I probably caused her.  She was obviously calling me because she thought I might understand or at least not shun and judge her.  But that is just what I did.  I wasn't there for her.  What I wish more than anything was that I had told her that I loved her and that she was still my friend anyway.  

I wish I knew how to get in-touch with her and apologize.  Not being able to do so is one of those things that just eats away at me.

I've done some really stupid and thoughtless things but none as horrible as how I treated Heather. . .