Today my mom would have turned 51. It's hard to believe that in just a few days it will have been one year since she died. As usual, I preoccupy myself with other thoughts to keep from thinking about it too much. Preparing for Emeline's arrival is my primary distraction. There is just so much unhappiness stuffed into this month that I feel badly for Emma having to weave her way in here between all of these heavy days. April is home to two birthdays of my deceased relatives as well as the anniversary of their deaths. My Grandfather, coincidentally the one Emeline's name takes it's basic root from, died on April Fools Day, 2000 just days before what would have been his 85th birthday on the 6th. Mom's birthday was the 4th and she passed away on the 11th. Her memorial was on the 17th. Of all of the sad days, if this kiddo had to be born on any of these days, I would obviously prefer the birthdays over the sad ones. Of course,there are good days in April, too. Chad's birthday is tomorrow. His brother and our sister-in-law have birthdays this month, too. But I'm hung up on the sad ones, of course.
The memory I keep coming back to is the celebration we had last year for my Mom's and Chad's birthday with my Uncle and Aunt last year. We went to Outback Steakhouse, as it is hard to pick something that everyone is sure to like. Mom had had a bad headache for a couple of weeks by this time but she was feeling pretty good that evening. We had a great evening. Of course we had no idea that in just a matter of days she would be gone. I'm really sketchy on the dates already, but I'm pretty sure it was the following day that her headache got worse and she decided to go back to the doctor about it which led to hospital admission.
I guess that's all I have to say. I miss my mom like crazy and still don't know how to cope with it all.
Happy Birthday, Mom. I miss you.
No comments:
Post a Comment